Well the problem with expectations is that all of us have them. There lies the dichotomy in the spiritually educated - materialistic man. Time and again we have heard about the consequences of harboring expectations and yet few of us are blessed with their absence. Charles Dickens introduced us to Pip’s story and yet we follow in Pip’s footsteps which sometimes lead us to what we call disappointments.
So here’s a perspective on thwarted expectations a.k.a disappointments.
Are you more disappointed in someone because they are not what they seemed or are you more disappointed in yourself for going wrong again about your judgment about them?
It never really is about anyone else being responsible for letting us down. Nobody but you yourself can let you down.
Let me elaborate. So you expect honesty? Whom do you expect it from? Let’s begin with yourself. You can control that. Then of course from the people you trust. So if they ever let you down, you question them, actually you should question yourself for maybe your trust was misplaced. That is what is the real issue. We are usually disappointed not in other people but ourselves and our own judgment of having gone wrong - again.
It’s a vicious cycle of not accepting our failure of having placed our faith in someone who may not have deserved it. The other person may not have even influenced garnering your trust, you may have decided to give it to them basis your own judgment. Then they fail on delivering on your expectations that you had set up for yourself. So there begins a war inside you which blames everything on this other person/people who are responsible for letting you down. It usually is a very logical war with just one objective – self exoneration from blame.
They say there are always two reasons we justify things – the real reason and a good reason. The choice is ours – when we refuse to acknowledge we have made a mistake, we give up the power of correcting it.
Acknowledging a symptom, helps identifying a problem. It is the first step to solving it and therefore correcting a mistake – the next of course is forgiving yourself.
Here’s a quote I love: Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there – Rumi.
Life is waiting…
Sanchita Johri
So here’s a perspective on thwarted expectations a.k.a disappointments.
Are you more disappointed in someone because they are not what they seemed or are you more disappointed in yourself for going wrong again about your judgment about them?
It never really is about anyone else being responsible for letting us down. Nobody but you yourself can let you down.
Let me elaborate. So you expect honesty? Whom do you expect it from? Let’s begin with yourself. You can control that. Then of course from the people you trust. So if they ever let you down, you question them, actually you should question yourself for maybe your trust was misplaced. That is what is the real issue. We are usually disappointed not in other people but ourselves and our own judgment of having gone wrong - again.
It’s a vicious cycle of not accepting our failure of having placed our faith in someone who may not have deserved it. The other person may not have even influenced garnering your trust, you may have decided to give it to them basis your own judgment. Then they fail on delivering on your expectations that you had set up for yourself. So there begins a war inside you which blames everything on this other person/people who are responsible for letting you down. It usually is a very logical war with just one objective – self exoneration from blame.
They say there are always two reasons we justify things – the real reason and a good reason. The choice is ours – when we refuse to acknowledge we have made a mistake, we give up the power of correcting it.
Acknowledging a symptom, helps identifying a problem. It is the first step to solving it and therefore correcting a mistake – the next of course is forgiving yourself.
Here’s a quote I love: Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there – Rumi.
Life is waiting…
Sanchita Johri
Yet again a very well written piece Simi.. You write so beautifully ... We can relate to it so easily and that's what I love the most about these pieces u write .. Sometimes you need someone else to open your eyes to reality... Love you loads
ReplyDeleteThank U Tabitha :-D thank u for taking the time to read :-) Lotsa love, S
ReplyDeleteGood one. Its always inspiring to read something about overcoming disappointments, hope to read some more.......
ReplyDeleteThank U, Glad the blog didn't disappoint you :-)
ReplyDeletevery well written Sanchu. I am watching this space for more :-)
ReplyDeleteThank U Megha :-))))
ReplyDeleterightly said and well written.
ReplyDeleteThanks Shuchi :-))
ReplyDeleteVery realistic and thoughtful piece. Sanchita, this analysis come on the path spiritulity. I am glad that you are evolving towards it.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes!!
Thanks Vaibhav :-) I thought you said you'd be writing the Hindi version of this one. Waiting :-D
ReplyDeleteI wish if I can write.....but I should first reach that level. To get the pearl, it's best to jump deep inside the ocean or to touch stars you should be able to fly with open EYES.
ReplyDeleteI will surely write my version soon
Wah! Nice - Look forward to it.
ReplyDeleteHere's a quote by Albert Einstein that I really like:
Imagination is more important than knowledge.